How Involved Should Parents Be In the College Admissions Process?


When I look at the photo included on this blog post, I think of me as a mother and my deep desire to be with my kids every step of the way. As I write this blog, I am coming at it from two ways: 1) as an almost twenty-year veteran in college admissions sharing my experiences of what seems to work, and 2) as a mother of a teenager and pre-teen trying to practice what I preach with my own children.

Parents often ask me what their role should be in their student’s college admissions process. There is definitely a healthy way to be involved and a not-so-healthy way. Your whole goal of the college admissions process is to support your student through the transition to adulthood. Being mindful of this goal can help bring this process into perspective and make for a more amicable experience with your student. After dedicating almost two decades of my professional life to the college admissions process, I have discovered the more parents can allow for students to be self-reflective and gain independence, the happier and more successful college and adult life can be.

Here are some roles for parents to consider in the college admissions process…
  • Communicate from a place of curiosity, so you can hear about your student’s interests and ideas for college. This can open your student up to wanting to have on-going dialogue.
  • Meet your student where he or she is at in the process. Not every student is on the same path and will be in the same place in the process. So remain supportive of who your student is and where they are at.
  • Manage your boundaries around the college talk. Consider agreeing to once a week for college talk, so everyone is on the same page and your student does not get frustrated with constant college talk.
  • Some parents and students hire a mentor or a college counselor or work with a school counselor to serve as an outside resource where students to express themselves freely. Teenagers tend to listen to folks outside of their parents when it comes to the admissions process, so providing them with the connections or resources may be helpful.
  • Help your student plan out dates for testing, college visits, vacations, summer programs, and more. And help arrange college visits.
  • Allow your student to make their own choices around majors, college essays subjects, school choices, and more. Parents may have their own opinions about college majors, college choices, etc, and definitely having a family conversation about these opinions, ideas, and expectations is valuable. Also allowing students to have an authentic choice is very important to a young person in their own development.
Location: United States

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